Wednesday, December 1

5 bags full


= a half empty closet + an empty dresser drawers.  This means I'm getting closer people. 7 days to be precise and I will be in the MTC and only 6 days till I am set apart as a missionary. Crazy, right?

 Since its become so close, so soon, people have been asking me a lot : "How do you feel?" " Are you excited?" "Does it seem weird that in about a week you will be gone?" Obviously I am super excited.. sometimes I feel like its the only emotion I feel. Except on Sunday I leaned over to my friend and said ".... I'm starting to get scared!" She said, "There is nothing to be scared about." Immediately when she said this, I was like YA RIGHT! I'm leaving my comfort zone for a whole year and a half, which includes : my bed, my separate bedroom, the convenience of having friends and family so close, etc.

Then Monday came along and this is where I get to my story. It started in the morning with reading Pres. Eryings Oct. Conference talk. It is all based around trusting in the Lord. And then later that night my ward went to Temple Square for FHE. As we were walking around out in the frigid cold we decided to go into the South Visitor center, where we found these two cute sister missionaries. When they first walk over to us I blurted out "I'm going on a mission in about a week! Where are you sisters from?" We started to talk and then I asked them if they had any advice for me. They continued talking and then one sister had me read a scripture. After I read it she asked us how we felt.. and for some reason I said I felt REALLY good! She asked me why and all this word vomit came out. She said.: "You know, when days are hard, remember that feeling you had. Remember the good you felt." Immediately I lost all fear. And realized that when days are hard we can all remember that advice: Which is to remember the good feeling that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ. Cool right?

Life is simply amazing! I love it, despite its constant curve balls. Remember that when we are called to do something that may take us out of our comfort zones that it is for our good. It is all part of the process of become more like our Savior. I'm so grateful!

Tuesday, November 9

I love......

1.Pumpkin seeds for dessert.
2. Being in Idaho for "pumpkin week"
3. laughing so much you"re abs hurt.
4. Throwing people in the air to calm them down. AKA babies.
5. My taller-than-me younger "sister."
6. Rexburg.. actually more just the people there.
7. Being the 7th roomate.
8. Sleeping in a "tunnel"
9. walking around looking good.
10. The temple
11. creeper, engagement, friend, photos at the train tracks.
12. Introducing myself as Lizzie's legendary name JESIBELLE.
13. "One of these things is not like the other."
14. punching/ beating tim baron. haha
15. watching leap year.
16. GOTHEN. experimental band. hahaha.
17. Having kall sing to all the roomates and I pratically to sleep.
18. The song kallie made about me.
19. My friends.
20. The fact that I am leaving in 4 weeks now!
21. snow!!!

Its been another great weekend in Idaho. I'm grateful for my family and friends. the end.

Monday, October 4

Happy list

Things that make me happy:
1. Jupiter bird. Fred and George weasley. Tom and Jerry. Watson and Holmes. Tommy and Richard.
2. Making ginger bread houses.
3. Going into the grocier store with some children on one of those super ridiculous long carts (the ones with the benches or seats or cars in front of them). I feel like I'm gonna hit everyone and everything. They make me laugh.
4. Sorority. Lamda Delta Sigma...specifically Zeta.
5. The mountains.
6. Ninjas
7. America's funniest home video's
8. Funny moments worthy to be on America's funniest home video's.
9. Driving. Alone.
10. My family. My momma especially.
11. My dog.
12. Friends
13. Walking into the Johnson home to screams from Jane, a jumping gabe, or complete silence until they finally notice I'm there.
14. When people calm me down.
15. mornings and nights
16. sleep.
17. reading
18. Preparing for a mission
19. my ward
20. The girls I nanny + the families I help out
21. My institute classes.
22. The month of OCTOBER.
23. Fall
24. Actually getting ready
25. Eating healthy
26. My zumba class
27. Swimming at 6 in the morn!
28. Smiling even when you feel like crying.
29. Screaming. Because its fun
30. U of U campus. and Rexburg.
31. RUNNING or any type of exercise that will help me get any worry I have out!
32. Princess and the frog
33. The little girl from UP.
34. Tommy boy the movie.
I know there is more.. I just can't think

minor dislikes :
1. Stressful moments. Though I seem to always make it through
2. Saying goodbye.

Monday, September 6

"Let go and let God."

You may be wondering why I even titled this what I did.. or maybe not. But I will explain:
This qoute comes from a cute lady from New Jersey. My friend and her companion were trying to teach her about the church, this was her response after they were pretty presitant. Her point was that if what they were trying to say was really true then God would let her know in due time. They wanted to teach her and help her understand. Which is a normal desire.. though with the desires we have we don't always get to choose the way we accomplish those desires. Sometimes we just have to "let go and let God."

I share this story because recently in my life I have had all these dreams, desires, and accomplishment I have longed to come across. I realized that I can do everything in my power to prepare for these things: Whether its completing my mission papers and various other things, but in the long run I can't choose the exact way things come about. I just need to be patient and let myself feel. I just have to let go. Including my: stubbornness, prideful, and even my gaurd that I am so good at putting up for protection. Sometimes I just have to let myself get hurt or even just let my self cry. You might be wondering what the? But Its hard expressing all my thoughts right now. And this may be the most vague post. ever. You see the truth is as much as I have been preparing for other things at the moment I have always managed to let myself run* far away from things that might make me have to feel for a bit. Sometimes we need to fall so we can experience the sweetness of being able to stand!

Well sorry this post is so vague. I can't express myself adequately right now. But I can say that I am indeed grateful for the guidance we receive when we follow our hearts and make choices! Its wonderful. And even if it doesn't turned as planned and we get hurt a little I hope I can get to the end of the finish line and say: Hey, look, I finished!

*To understand this habit of mine.. check out my post about fear!
Jupiter bird, over and out.
P.s. shout out to Fred/george (haven't decided which is which), tommy, and watson- which all these characters are one person.

Wednesday, August 18

love is all there is.

Warning: This post is all about love. You'll love it ;)
Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.
-- Gary Zukav
What an amazing summer it's been! I feel I have been stretched and challenged in ways I never thought I would. Lets just say I have learned a lot about love. Not the hollywood lovey-dovey romance love, but the love that comes from God and Jesus Christ. Charity. Love really does have the power to heal. Whether its to heal pain, bad habits, or even despair. I am so grateful for love and how evident it is all around us. Each day we are giving opportunities to love and to feel love.

A couple days ago I was cleaning my room and I came across a poem my sister wrote for my Dad's funeral. I had forgotten about it until I read it. I couldn't help but feel so much love for him and the life he lived! I feel because of him I can be a better person because he was. I'm gonna share it with you, only if you would like to read that is. It's a little long.

Dad do you Remember?

Dad do you remember when I caught that 10in trout?
Okay so mamybe it was only 4inch but you had
a way of making everything seem bigger
especially our accomplishments.

Do you remember teaching me how to drive a 3 wheeler?
Lap after lap in the backyard always shouting encouragement
well if you don't I'm sure Cody does, I mean I did run over
his foot.

And dad do you remember tucking me in at night
You would give me a kiss and say "sweet dreams,"
And then an hour later you were yelling downstairs:
"you guys better get in bed before I come down there!"

Do you remember Donzo?
Yeah that silly dog that just had to runaway
well thanks for searching we never found him
but you would say he'd found a better home

Do you remember when I scraped my knee
Yeah I know which time you're probably asking 
but thanks for kissing my boo boos better

And Dad do you remember when Annie and Cody turned 
the water bed into a swimming pool
Boy where you mad! but hey everybody needs to 
respect the ability of the power rangers
.......
Do you remember holding your little girls hand?
You would dry her tears and make her smile again.
Allie always was daddy's little girl.
Who could say no to those big blue eyes?
We know you never did.

..
And dad don't worry I'll always remember
how much you love me.
-Robyn Vincent
So there's the poem :) Whenever I read it, it reminds me of the unchanging love my dad had for my brothers and sisters and I. I hope I can love as much as he did!

Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Much love.

Friday, July 30

Dreamer

So its been almost two months! Time flys people. This summer, so far, has been way different than I expected but so much fun. Yet again, life has showed me that things never go as planned and you just need to find joy in the journey. Even when things don't go quite how you thought, it seems to always turn out just how we need it to. Boy am I grateful for that! Don't forget your dreams and never give up. This song describes exactly how I feel at the moment:

Hello you long-shots, you dark horse runners,

Hair brush singers, dash-board drummers,

Hello you wild magnolias, just waiting to bloom.
There's a little bit of all that inside of me and you,
Thank God even crazy dreams come true.

I've stood at the bottom of some walls I thought I couldn't climb.
I felt like Cinderella at the ball, just running out of time.
So I know how it feels to be afraid, and think that it's all gonna slip away
Hold on, Hold on.

Here's to you free souls, you fire-fly chasers.
Tree climbers, porch swingers, air guitar players.
Here's to you fearless dancers, shaking walls in your bedrooms
There's a lot of wonder left inside of me and you,
Thank God even crazy dreams come true

Never let a bad day be enough, to go and talk you into giving up.
Sometimes everybody feels like you, oh, feels like you, just like you, yeah.

I've met some go-getters, some difference makers.
Small town heros, and big chance takers.
I've met some young hearts with something to prove.
Oh yeah.

Here's to you long-shots, you dark horse runners
Hair brush singers, dash-board drummers
Here's to you wild magnolias, just waiting to bloom.
There's a little bit of all that inside of me and you.
         "Go confidently in the direction of you dreams."

This past month I have had many "run-away" moments, where I have just wanted to run away and hide. But I realized that I can't do that anymore. There comes a point in each day where we need to face our fears and continue onward. Never be afraid to take an oppurtunity to shine and stand a little taller than you were yesterday.
Much love everyone.

Wednesday, May 5

"Noise": Makes it difficult to hear the voice of the Lord.

This lessons (qoutes; ideas) came from my, Understanding Personal Revelation institute class I took last year, though the thoughts have been more recent:

These past couple weeks I have learned the reality of noise and how it can so easily entangle us. I feel like every sec. there is some type of noise we can fill the silence with: I-pod's, T.V., anger, the radio, selfishness, and so much more. Even this past week I would go from one to the next: when the t.v. was off I would go straight to my i-pod or when my i-pod was off I would go to the internet: pandora. I'm not saying that these things are bad but when you have so much of them I feel its hard to find the peace that we need in our lives.

            "Hearing: The young child flinches at loud noises, but in modern society he soon learns to endure and then to enjoy excessive decibels. Loud noise prevents the development of discriminative refinement. Our civilization shouts so loud that the value of a whisper is forgotten.
            Continuous background noise-from the radio or television, for example-discourages the development of perception and discrimination. Something that is there the whole time no longer draws proper attention: it dulls; it becomes a kind f drug; it floats us sluggishly along. It is like a stream of dirty, lukewarm water, a kind of inferior bath taken disgustingly in common. Whatever encourages our inattention diminishes our ability to make wise choices; because, of all the things that are required to make wise choices, a delicate and sensitive attention is the most important."
          -'Abundance of the Heart,' Arthur Henry King p. 210


I feel like, with everything, we need moderation and especially noise vs. silence. In this world it is so easy to become wrapped up in the noise around us that we forget how to just sit and enjoy the quietness. Though, I know, it is very important to find sometime during the day -everyday- to just be quiet, and listen for the voice that will lead us home.

Okay so one last qoute and then I am done. I really like this qoute and it hit me hard as I read it over this morning:
" I invite you to go home from this melancholy meeting and beguile three hours or so before the tube, so that you may experience one full hour of commercials. This is the final triumph and total corruption of rhetoric, rude, brief, and wrenching interruptions, as garish and distracting as possible, as your attention is jerked from one sales pitch to another, and we sit there and allow this corrupt practice to inflict the deadly epidemic of the past on our civilization. At this point the only escape I can think of is the temple. I testify to its sanctity and power to purify our lives. " (The italics and bold are only my emphasis not his; that was the part that hit me).
 -Hugh Nibley, 'Temples Everywhere', Insights, Vol 25 p. 16
So Challenge: find time to just " Be still, .."
Much love,  :)

Wednesday, April 7

Fear.

I decided that I am a runner for life:
I run for excercise
I run to chase my dreams
I run away from things that I know will hurt me
and lastly
I run from things that I am fearful of; even if I know its for the better.

This past week have been thinking a lot about fear.

Last week I found myself sitting in my backyard just thinking. The second time it was night, the wind was blowing, and it was slightly snowing. When I need to escape from loud things I go outside. So I decided to go outside and read my book (My sisters keeper). I found myself stopping and breathing in the moment: my hair was being blown in the wind, my hands were cold, the windchim and wind were making music, and the snow was falling slowly over my head. It was amazing. I've never felt so much peace. As I was soaking in this moment a thought came into my head that almost knocked me over. It came in my mind so peacfully and gently but with so much power at the same time (Is that even possible?). 

A little background before I tell you what I thought: Growing up I was always afraid of the weather. It TERRIFIED me. And I am not exaggerating to the least bit. I believe it scared me because I could never control it. Whenever it rained I would bawl and hide with-in my house if I could. Whenever the wind blew I bawled.. and would hide. I remember a windy day in elemetary school where I cried. As I continued to grow the fear still stuck with me. Even last year I was still afaid. I mean I would get so afraid to the point where I would get really bad anxiety. So there is a little about me.

To continue what I was saying about my thoughts: As I was letting the wind blow through my hair I felt so good! I had this overwhelming feeling that I wasn't afraid anymore. And Then I realized that anything that I am afraid of, with time, I can overcome. I know it sounds cheesy, but it was amazing! I felt so good! And since then I haven't been afraid. Yesterday it thundered.. and I wasn't afraid. It is so simple. Maybe this is a little sign of me growing up (who would have thunk).

This experience made me realize that no matter what challenge we may have to face, we can overcome it. I realized that maybe the best solution is to just stand still instead of "running" away from my fears.


He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.
-Ralf Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, March 16

I never know quite how to start these little post off.. Do I start it with a quote the describes perfectly what I am thinking or do I put something quirky that I am thinking about.. haha.

Well Anyways today marks 1 year since my amazing father passed away. I don't mean to say that in a disrespectful way at all. As I look back on the last year a lot has happened within my family and even within myself. People always told me that the first year would be the hardest, but I believe it just continue to get harder. Not meaning to be cynical or doubtful, but that is just how life is. Which I am very grateful for because I realized the harder life is the better it is. Challenges and trials make us the people we need to be and I learned this through the hard life my dad lived. I hope I can grow up to be just like him: kind, friendly, genuine, funny, great love for everyone, forgiving, and he had amazing endurance for anything. Honestly I feel I have never been so close to him then I am now and I know that that closeness will continue to grow.

"If you were once connected with someone, does it make sense that the connection is broken just because of a physical death? No, the connection stays. You may just have to listen differently. You may just have to talk differently. The truth is: the connection is never broken. It's quite impossible to break the most powerful connection in the universe. As long as you exist, the connection stays."
                       Abby soda gave me this quote last year.. and I love it because it is so true!


On Sunday as Kallie and I sat in my room and chatted; As Kall, Kourt, and I discussed on sat; as Kourtney and I drove home from BYU-I this weekend I had to oppurtunity to think about my life and the changes that are inevitable to happen. I am grateful that despite any change or hardship we go threw love and hope can always exist. I know that through this past year it was these two things that helped pull me through.

“Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope.” James E. Faust

Life is hard but I realized that I can do hard things! Not by myself though, I owe a big thanks to my family, friends, ward members, and even the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in your Heavenly Father.

Much love everyone, sorry if its so cheesy, my heart is tender today.

Wednesday, February 17

Beautiful Disaster.... gratitude baby.

    I woke up this morning confused, upset, and grumpy. My mom even said "geesh you're grumpy today." When she said that I said, "no I'm not," in the 'I'm offended you said that' type of voice. But I was and I think it was mostly because the feelings I had weren't going away. So I was feeling sorry for myself until I went to my stress management class.
    As I am sitting in class I realized my teacher had put the words : "Joy/Gratitude/Attitude," on the board. She started telling a story about her mother and the challenges she has faced. The story was so powerful I was almost in tears.. and I really don't like crying in public (who does?). Then she described how the only  escape her mom could "run" to was the public swimming pool. You are probably think "so what?" But this is the truly amazing part. You see, her mom was crippled in many different ways but she loved to swim, even if it was only one lap. Each time she would touch the different sides of the pool she would say one thing she was grateful for.
    Our teacher described the joyful attitude her mother always had and then she challenged us the write done 50 things that we were grateful for. As I was writting I would get stumped but then things just kept flowing to me.
1. My mom
2. My grandpa
3. Sorority
4. Forgiveness
5. Love
6. Being able to run a marathon
7. A car
8. $ to put gas in my car
9. A house to live in rent free
10. A Cell phone
11. My room
13.  My singles ward
14. Home video's
15. Pictures= memories
16. Service others give
17. Being able to give
18. People
19. Living in such a beautiful state : UTAH
20. Living just 15 or 30 min. from mountains
21. Journals
22. Being able to read/ write
23. Talents/ improvement/ progression
24. Family
25. All those who cared for my family and I when my Dad and Grandma passed away
26. Snowboarding
27. Those who show sincere care
28. Stories/ memories that people share
29. The stories shared about my dad at his funeral
30. Nanny jobs: Mcbride family
31. Oppurtunity to inerview for oakcrest
32. Traveling
33. Sunshine
34. Educatjion
35. Laughter
36. Dancing
37. Rain
38. Heartbreaks
39. Sleep
40. Clean water and being able to have good hygiene
41. Good health for the most part
42. Smiles
43. Kindness
44. Good music
45. Adventures
46. Knowing how to camp
47. Friends :):)
48. Prayer
49. Scriptures. modern and ancient scripture
50. Nature

Okay.. so that is a long list.. and I didn't write those to brag or anything just to simply show gratitude. There is so much to be grateful for. Think about it. Really once you start it just comes. Doing this turned my day around and actually I feel very energetic now.






"When upon lifes billows you are tempest tossed, getting all discouraged thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings and your doubts will fly... " Count your many blessings :)

Sunday, February 7

“God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.”
 
  
 

Wednesday, February 3

Keep Moving Forward

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” 
                                                                         –Walt Disney

I put in all my oakcrest papers as in today! I am so excited! I've realized that in life we have to continuely move forward, stretching ourselves, and just trusting in the Lord. My mom has taught me my whole life that we always have to chase after our dreams and that I can be whatever I put my mind to. I can't predict the future by any means but I know if we just keep moving forward, stepping out of our comfort zones, everthing will work out. 

Wednesday, January 27

the little things.

                             Lately I have realized how much life is filled with a variety of the little things. 
                                                          For example, here is how my day has gone thus far: 

1. I am driving to school this morning and as I am leaving my neighborhood I see my Grandma's car at good ol' Del Taco at 7:45 in the a.m. I laughed a little and then decided I should go say hi. So I run into the returaunt and see that my cute little grandma is eating breakfast with one of the workers there. She introduced the lady as her friend and it just made me so happy. My grandma is someone that says this about everyone: " I just love them," or "I love her/ him." I love it! And just the fact that she was at del taco at 7:45 in the morning just made me so happy. She is there almost everyday for at least one meal. She is my hero.

2. I am walking down the hall after one of my classes and I see my friends. Naturally I decided to make a ninja pose to pretend like I am beating them up because that is just what I do with the people I love I guess.. aka beat them up ( HAHA honestly I don't know where I got this from). So in response my friend tries to kick my back-pack and was like "Allie! What is in there? That is heavy." So I take it off and the both of them hold it, weigh it in their hands and then my friend ken put it on and said "Where you going Allie?" I was going to the institute so he walked with me to the institute and carried my bag. Simple, right? It wasn't anything amazing but it just made me realize that its the little things we do for others that help strengthen friendships.

3. I was driving down the rode getting ready to pull into my neighborhood- which can be hazardous at times. As I am sitting there with my blinker on waiting for a clear rode, I noticed an interesting event happening in my rear-view mirror. So a person pulled up behind me and didn't want to wait so he went into the other lane. And then behind him came a HUGE white truck driving really fast inches away of hitting me until he notices I am not driving and makes a big scene by swerving, overcorrecting and had an angry face on. It was something little that could have made my day bad if I let it but otherwise I just laughed.. and was grateful I didn't get SMOOSHED! haha.

I love it! All of these are examples of the little moments that make life what it is.. So open your eyes and take some time to laugh, smile, cry (if needed.. haha), or even just recognize all the wonderful things that are around us.

Sunday, January 17

"I will not leave you comfortless I will come to you"-John 14:18

"People are like stained glass windows they sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
Life is simply beautiful. This life is about learning, growing, and "staying the course." Today I gave a talk in my ward about being steadfast. It was truely amazing how much the Lord will bless you with his spirit when you are doing his will. As I wrote the talk all the words just came together and I knew it wasn't something I came up with on my own. I had three points the help us stay steadfast and those were: 1. Remember who you are 2. Nurish your testimony everyday 3. Endure all the way to the end. Life is hard but I know with God all things are possible. We need to continually build our faith on Christ who is a sure and strong foundation. Because when we build our faith around Christ, when the darkness comes we can continue to let our light shine. Don't loose faith. We can't loose focus! I love the qoute Pauline gave in her talk today she said : "Obedience can bring blessing but exact obedience can bring miralcles." or at least something to that measure.

This girl was one great example to me of letting your light so shine. I love her and miss her!
Hope you all have a wonderful week! Love you all!