Thursday, December 13

My Christmas Thoughts and a Story of Love

Last March when I was in sunny California, after much playing on the beach, I remember getting a little weak while my friends carried on walking further and further from our spot on the beach. In this moment I laid down on a rock, almost in my own solitude I felt like, feelings of dizziness and fatigue encircled me. Not just tiredness from playing but fatigue of battling my own thoughts and sickness I wasn't quite sure when I would be healed from. In this dark moment I remember praying. It was a simple prayer that went something like this, "Heavenly Father, I need to feel your love right now, if that is possible please help me feel your love."
They even got a picture of it.
 Seconds later after saying that prayer a few of my friends noticed I was ill and started to care for me. My one friend was willing to caring me back the 30 min. walk back to our things, while the other ran for my water bottle, knowing I'm dehydrated, and lastly while the other just walked by allowing me to know she was near and cared. Amongst all this chaos I felt peace, despite my inability to really talk. My friend tired, I'm sure from caring me so far, saw a lifeguard truck by our side and asked if we could get a ride. This led us to there little shack to take care of me, because surely they could tell something was wrong. I don't recall much of what happened, but I remember being surrounded by people: my three friends, life guards, and EMT's. I remember the EMT specialist wanted me so badly to go to the hospital as if I was their own daughter. And my friends speaking for me knowing what I needed: which was rest. Despite the chaos of the situation  I still felt peace.

I ended up being put in the ambulance to make my way to the hospital. My friend, whom I haven't know very long might at add, stayed with me in the ambulance. She stayed with me while we sat in the ER too. All I remember was getting two IV's and people caring for me. The situation by far was not ideal, and my mom, back home in UT, was worried as this had happened just 7 months before when I was in Nashville, TN. Long story short the next morning I was on a flight home back to UT cutting my trip short, and surly disturbing the fun of what my friends and I could have had.

This was just one happening of my journey to better health. It has definitely been a battle and at times dark and uncertain. But I can tell you one thing... never before have I felt so much love from God and His Son Jesus. As you can see from just this one story, the love God has for His children is immeasurable. He loves us so much. After arriving home I remember family members taking care of me, when I returned to school I had wonderful roommates who were my protection to get through the rest of the semester, and so on.

 I've come to learn that our afflictions really can teach us of the love God has. Which really is the greatest gift. God's love is so huge that through His Son we are promised: Peace, Love, Joy, Redemption from sorrow and lose, comfort, forgiveness and so much more.

This Christmas season I'm thankful for my illnesses which have taught me so much of love. In that moment I didn't think God heard my little prayer, but as I look back I see how he answered it before I even prayed and continues to answer it day by day. I'm so thankful for this.

This short Christmas movie reminded me of the love I've felt because of Christ even while going through rough times. In what times can you see God's love for you? I promise if you look close enough you will see his love everywhere.


Wednesday, December 12

Dentist, oh how we LOVE the dentist.

Did I just say we love the dentist? Maybe you do. But, I've always had a love hate relationship with going to the dentist. It's so nice to have clean teeth. I don't mind getting fillings when I have cavties or even how the dentist talks while his hand is in my mouth. That's fine..

Every time I've gone in thus far I always leave knowing I have more cavities.. luckily each time the number decreases.This is lovely. You don't need to tell me its because I probably don't have anymore room to have cavities.. I already realize this. But hey, progress is progress right?

Anyways. About a month ago I was at the dentist and he was filling a few more cavities. This time they gave me laughing gas. I've never experienced this before. Oh boyyyyyy. Let me describe the sensation: everything starting spinning and I had the most curious thoughts. I've been doing yoga about everyday for the past two months and it revealed in my thoughts during this curious time. While I was feeling weird.. I kept thinking just breathe, remember what the yoga instructor says: "breath. If you breath you can get through any pain." Then I laughed in this thought.. "am I really thinking about yoga right now." Finally the dentist said, "how are you feeling?" He must of been able to tell I was out of it deep in yoga thought. After me telling him I was feeling "weeeirrddd.." he took the laughing gas off and preceded with filling my cavities.

Find yourself in a "weird feeling" situation.. remember "breath. if you breath you can get through any pain." haha. It worked for me. :)

Another successful dentist visit.

Thursday, November 29

simple things

You know.. I've had a lot of thoughts lately.
This isn't new for me though.. and I'm sure if you know me you'll agree.

My mind is constantly thinking about something. I'm learning to focus though. If you asked my mom she'd tell you how I can do 500 things at once, leave a trail wherever I go (she can always tell when I'm home), and am always on the go. This past week though I've really been reminded to STOP and focus. Focus on whats most important that is: like family and how I'm so blessed to have these people  I call "family" in my life. Focus on love and giving gratitude for the many evidences of love that God sheds everywhere. For example: the love I feel when many people feel love and compassion for ONE lady who is in the hospital; In unity praying and fasting that her and her family will be okay. Or in those moments when you feel overwhelmed with all the mistakes we make daily.. but remember that someone: Jesus Christ, has made it possible that we can live happily despite the mistakes we make. Or even just a beautiful sunrise that by some miracle you were able to be awake for and witness.

I know  I'm not perfect and make many mistakes just like every other human being. But I hope I can be better at remembering the simple things that bring real meaning in our lives. I'm thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ which reminds me of these simple things we have to enjoy in life like: family, repentance, joy, hope, peace, etc.

I saw this movie today and it reminded me of the simplicity of believing in ourselves and in a better future that no matter what circumstances we're in we need faith.

A man I love and am thankful for once said " Our future is as bright as our faith." - Thomas S. Monson

 This post may not even make sense or is in order, but I hope at least you get out it to remember the simple things. I'm not perfect at it by far, but hope I can be better :) Have a great day!

Tuesday, November 13

happy meal. Happy.

Writing a song has steps.
1. Brainstorm
2. spitting out all the terrible bad ideas.
3. A miracle of words flowing together.
4. A miracle of music.

I don't know how it happens.. but writing a song at first can be so messy. I was reminded of this last night as I my friend and I were trying to write a song. Pretty much the jist of the song went like this: You are my best friend. We met one time.. haha you get the point. It was bad. But just like creating a painting getting started is always the messiest. So new song in the process of being written.

Oh and did I tell you I've been writing songs/playing the guitar/ making my own music.. Well now you know.

This is what I love about creating your own music vs. learning someone else's song:
1. You can pretty much do whatever you want.. well mostly at least. There are less limitations I guess is better way to put it.
2. Its fun to see how it flows together. I guess I see it very similar to painting a picture, which is something I also love.

This is what I don't necisarly like:
1. sharing it with others. I know I know, selfish. I'm getting better. Its hard for me to share something personal.. but I'm practicing on my family first and then one day maybe you'll hear :)



Maybe even one day I post my songs on here.. we'll see though.

how is this related? It's not.

Saturday, November 3

Dear Dad,

I was walking into the grociery store and was reminded of those times when I was younger and you would hold my hand as we entered the store. I wish more than ever that you could have been there to hold my hand today.. I really could have used it.

A lot has been going on lately. I've had to make a lot of tough decisions. Whenever I think of making tough decision I think of the one time we were on the phone and  I was telling you how  I was nervous to go to my first college English class. You told me how proud of me you were and that I would do just fine. You told me if you could you would be there with me, you always wished you finished school.

Sometimes I get really frustrated with my body and wish it could do all that it used to, like run 10 miles and still be able to function after. I imagine its how you felt sometimes after your accident. Thanks for teaching me to enjoy the simple things. I learned that sometimes our limitations teach us of our many opportunities and help us focus on what matters most.

I can't believe you've been gone for about 3 1/2 years. It seems unreal. A lot has changed since then. Though at the same time a lot has stayed the same. I can tell you that my love and appreciation for family has changed. I learned how much I need my family. I can tell you that maybe I've gotten a little taller.. though I'm sure you probably are saying "nice try." I can tell you that my love for you has gone deeper each year, month, day and minute.

Sometimes as the years go on I worry that its getting further and further away from the last time I saw you. I start to get sad and don't want time to go on. I know you wouldn't want me to worry though... you always said I worried too much. Despite the time that passes I'll never forget you dad. I love you and know you still love me.

Love, Daddy's little girl.

Wednesday, October 24

sharks and safety

Yesterday I was watching this cute little 3 yr old girl..

Being with children my whole life through cousins, babysitting, nannying, various jobs/classes... you soon come to understand that with children almost any topic can be brought up in the most random of ways.. I love it.

While we were coloring Little Mermaid pictures somehow to topics of getting attacked by a shark came up. I asked the little girl what she would do if a Shark was about to attack her.. and she simply said I would grab a big person's hand then I'd be safe..

It made me smile. Smile at the fact that I wasn't quite sure how this topic got brought up, and then smile that her answer was so sweet and simple.

It made me think of this one time I was walking into a pretty scary, sad, and uncertain situation. Luckily I had my sister by my side that I could grab her hand and together we were safe. I'm thankful for that "big" person I had to hold my hand in a moment I needed it most.

Love you Annie.

So if I was about to get attacked by a shark or maybe walk down a scary dark hallway I would grab a "big" person's hand too.. then I'd be safe.




Tuesday, October 23

276 months

276 months doesn't seem too long.

200 months roughly spent centered around school, learning, and growing.

9 1/2 months of serving the Lord as a full-time missionary

132 months of learning how to express my self through various types of dance: ballet, jazz, hip-hop, modern.. you name it.

12 months of tumbling and cheer

5 months of training for a marathon

 204 months roughly spent living with 4 of my best friends: Robyn, Annie, Cody, Colton; all at the same time.. though we didn't really know it then. that took the full 276 months plus that to realize that.

276 months filled with;

4 cats, 5 dogs, 4 fish, 4 birds........

5 thousand million smiles.

maybe match that with tears of joy, pain, sorrow, and frustration

A mother who sacrifices all she knows how to help her children..

memories of camping, biking, swimming, geocashing with best friends, sleepovers,

making mistakes

Learning from those mistakes.

Learning how to keep myself healthy.

Running

Walking

Screaming

Spinning.

Laughing with brothers and sisters

Laughing with friends.

Of loving and being loved.

228 months filled with a father who supported, loved, and taught me how to talk to a complete stranger like their my best friend.

yep I'm 276 months old. I'm thankful for everyone who's been a part of every month whether it was just a minute, 2 weeks, or 23 years. I love you.
love

laughter

content

calm exuberance

happy

safety


meditation

hope/peace

forgiving
frustrating patience
joy.









Tuesday, October 9

"I hope you appreciate your mom"

One day at work this lady and her two kids handed their things over to me to purchase ( I work at a store where you can purchase school supplies, toys, games,maps, and lots of happiness in my mind). Her kids beamed as they each had picked out two pencils they loved. When I rung them up.. the mom was stunned at the price, as said "you two better not loose these pencils." As she said this I looked at them and said "I hope you realize what a great mom you have and hopefully you appreciate her." I do NOT know what possessed me to say this. The mom smiled...

Just as I said this my cute little mom walked in the store with a bowl full of gluten free spaghetti she had made for dinner. I walked towards her and gave her a hug and explained to the family that this was my mom. The lady then looked at me and smiled and said " I hope YOU appreciate your mom."

It was a moment where I felt like, even though I didn't know it, I was chastising myself to appreciate my mom. I'm thankful for those little reminders we have, and this one was definitely a perfect one. I'm so blessed to have a mom who supports and loves me in everyway. Though shes not perfect, she loves me with all her heart, and I'm thankful everyday for that. Thanks mom, I really do appreciate you.

When was the last time you told those you loved you appreciate them?

Nature cont'd: TREES.

Tall. Short. Strong. Deeply rooted. Green.

I love trees and always have from the strength of them, their shapes and size as well as their vibrant colors.

These past couple weeks with moving back home to Salt Lake I've been very intrigued with how brightly green they are. While still on the path to good health some days are spent just sitting outside, walking, or reading while laid out on my grass. I remember one day looking up and feeling surrounded by the color green. There is something about this moment that I felt, even though my situation was unpredictable, safe and protected. I felt in that moment that my life was stable and would be okay. It was a great feeling. And everyday since then I loved looking around and feeling as if I was embraced with protection and stability (cheesy, right).

The other day though I was driving to one of my many activities I seem to pile on.. and had the thought that soon all the green would be gone. I got a little sad. This has NEVER happened. I've always loved fall and the beautiful colors. And then it hit me.. change is beautiful. That simple. Though its nice to always feel stable, safe and protected.. like everything will be perfect.. its important to have change. Its inevitable. We need it. Without it, we too couldn't grow tall and deeply rooted like the tree does each year as it goes from change to change.

enjoying the fresh air. And trees.


Monday, September 10

some people like yams.

my yams. Helene's chocolate/sour patch kids.


What is this? Sometimes as humans we get hungry and need a snack. I pretty much am hungry for a snack every 2 hrs. or less. So naturally before church I am scrambling to grab something I can snack on during the 3 hr. or 2 hr block. yesterday it so happened that I had pre-cooked yams in my fridge. I actually got a little excited and grabbed them. Yep that was my decision... yams for my snack. I know, weird. I think you should have caught on by now that I'm just a little weird, its okay though.

Maybe one day I will explain why I like this vegetable so much. It's just so good. And have you ever noticed how when purchasing yams in the store they look like little seals? Look for it next time, it may make you laugh.. or roll your eyes. I know I was hysterical at how funny it was, though it was also 7 am when I discovered this at Dan's with my dear friend Merinda (we're morning people).

Wednesday, September 5

"that's my favorite."

I'm known for the phrase "that's my favorite," to come out of my mouth often.

Some people take this as a insincere way of agreeing with everything.. though honestly for some reason lots of things make me happy. Or in other words make it on my "that's my favorite," list. 

I've had a few new ones enter into my life recently:

-Starbucks half steamer (soy milk) and African Autumn tea (herbal) with a little nutmeg, cinnamon, and vanilla. Literally fall in a cup. You have to specifically ask for it.. because its not normal. :) My friend and I made it up one day with one of the ladies.

-Zumba. Okay so this isn't so new, but its new for about a year and a half. I haven't been able to do this type of intense exercise for a while now. And being able to go to the same old classes and see the people I've grown to love is a blessing.

-Fall. I love being able to wear sweaters again and go on walk in the mid-day w/out sweating.

-Chocolate. Okay so normally this is not my favorite.. but recently I've really liked it. I blame Lizzy. (yes you Elizabeth Cosper).

-Sharing closets with Helene Nance. Yes I have a shelf in her closet and 1/8th of her clothes are in the back of my car (3 pants, a dress, 2 shirts). 

-pretending like you've known someone for a long time.. when all reality you've never met them.

-re-organizing my life and being okay with a little mess here and there. Okay so this is not normal. Normally everything is VERY nicely put together (at least in my mind) but recently I've had to be okay with just letting things be a little messy till time sorts things out.

AND LASTLY... WAIT FOR IT.


- The color GREEN. Yes, shocking (at least to me). I've always thought this was a boy color. But I feel I'm surrounded by this color daily, and I've come to love it. 

Yep. there is a just few of my favrites. maybe one day I'll make a longer list of all my favorites.

Life is meant for us to be happy and then for us to spread that happiness.


What makes you happy?

Saturday, September 1

Good things to come.

I don't really know whether to start this post off with a story or a qoute, my thoughts seem a little mixed together this morning.

I've really been blessed these past couple weeks with guidance, love, and insight. Whether that was through prayer, my mom, family members, or friends.

When life gets tough my dad always says "keep your chin up Allie, Move forward and don't look back." I'm thankful for this advice, its really helped within the past year and past month. Despite the constant stream of challenge I'm thankful that through the Savior Jesus Christ our "storms," can be stilled and we can find hope, peace, and encouragement.

Its almost been a year since I've returned from my assigned 18 month mission** to Nashville, TN. A lot has changed since then.
The picture with the temple was the day I flew home (sept 2011). The picture next to it oct 2011.

(me in the middle) aug 2012
(me in the green shirt) aug 2012

About a year ago my body could only tolerate eating broth, only cooked veggies, eggs, coconut water, and apple sauce. Let alone physical activity was a challenge, especially meeting with people. Thankfully I can now eat any gluten free grain, vegetables, fruit, meat, and even some dairy like yogurt. Its definitely been a roller coaster and at moments the thoughts of moving forward seemed impossible. Some days my body would be fine and other days I couldn't even seem to walk or function. I learned to appreciate the little things like: being able to walk, have normal conversations with people, being able to smile with out it taking too much energy, being able to laugh with out feeling tired after, and just simply the ability to be myself. I'm still not 100% healthy but I'm thankful that through ups and downs I'm further than I was a year ago, and that's all that counts.

So in moments when life seems pretty hopeless, remember what my dad always says "Keep your chin-up. Keep moving forward and never look back. You're doing great hoochie momma."

or as Elder Holland (an apostle of Jesus Christ) puts it  “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Trials in life are inevitable. They help us recognize and appreciate the things that really matter. But I understand moments of feeling overwhelmed. In those moments don't give up. Keep moving forward. And know that God loves you.



Friday, July 27

"run away..and never return."

Have you ever experienced something really painful, scary, or not very pleasant that has caused you to flinch, shrink down, or even run away for safety?

Well I have. Actually as much as I say I love adventure.. for some reason at times I tend to get frightened of it. Especially when too much risk is involved. I remember the days I did cheer when we would have to do lots of push-ups in a row during practice. It would burn and I remember feeling pain while doing so. I dreaded this part of practice. Every time we did it though I would sing a song: "Nearer my God to thee," I know, your probably thinking I'm silly but its the only way I could get through it with out tears and giving up. Oh I forgot to mention if we didn't do a push-up or not full out we would cause the whole team to do more- and I did not want that on my shoulders.

Recently though I've had a few things I'm facing that I've really wanted to shrink down from or full out run away. This is something I've seemed to master for the past 15 years of my life. Its become easy to me. I just go to a happy place and everything becomes okay again. 
This past week though my ways have been altered and I've been challenged to try to new way. It was the final breaking moment and I was doing what I do best: run, when all of a sudden my mom stood in front of me and said with much emotion, "why are YOU running?" I threw everything down and walked back inside and cried hard. 

I learned that running is good, though I've always ran the wrong direction: away. Instead I need to run forward- and even sometimes walk, crawl, or jump. As we face our trials, fears, tragedies, weaknesses, or whatever it may be with confidence, faith, and trust we will grow. We will find true happiness. After my minor breakdown and realization, I've experienced some of my greatest peace and calmness within the past year. Not to mention joy and quality time with those I love.
 Joy in dressing however I want.





Hiking with two adorable 4 years olds. Which took time, patience, and love. They taught me more about facing my fears than anyone.


Being in NATURE. With people I love. 


So when its tempting to listen to that voice to "RUNAWAY and NEVER RETURN," remember the joy that comes from facing truth, fears, weaknesses, etc. once you overcome, which you will, no matter how many times you fall :).

Wednesday, July 25

"A more excellent way,"

I found this post in my "drafts" this morning.
                                It was a post I started about a year ago while on my mission in Tennessee.
As you watch, consider those things that really make you happy in life.

 ...........

I know that no matter what were going through we can find happiness 
and it comes through Jesus Christ. I'm thankful for this knowledge.

Sunday, July 1

"Here comes the sun...

it's alright."


My roomates are convinced that I am the ultimate Hippie. I'm writing this after long ado of my roomates claiming I'm a hippie, I'm here to argue otherwise, here are their comments:
1. I wear bright purple spandex while exercising.
2. My vocabulary consit of: rainbows, colon cleanse, herbs, etc.
3. I think yams are a appropriate subsititute for chicken.
4. When I look up recipes I look them up by their cleansing properties.
5. Quionoa "nough said," states Dani.
6. Mac and Chrease, "nough said," stated again.
7.I read my horoscope daily and saves fortunes from all my fortune cookies. Even Dove Chocolate can be inspirational.
8.I try to harness the positive energy of the earth. Says Dani once again.
9. I drink way too much herbal tea, "she wanted to harvest moss from the lake," Dani and Karli
10. A butterfly almost "emerged into my soul."
11. I love vegetables.
12. barefoot is the new shoe of the day.
13. "Allie thinks crocs are trendy."
14. I speak to the trees and even the fish so they wont bite Karli's feet.
15. Bean fudge "nough said," Dani
16. Sometimes my imagination is like I'm on drugs. (don't worry I've never had any, just creative thats all).
17. "She talks to the people at the check-out like their her best friends."
18. Sometimes I don't like wearing bras- too much restriction and shaving my legs takes way too much time.
19. Nature is great.

So here is the start to the list of my roomates of why I am "hippie." Though they have made all these statements I'm here to argue that these don't neccisarly mean I'm a "hippie," just me thats all. Also I'm sorry if you learned more about me if you wished to from reading this.

Sunday, May 13

Mother I love you. Mother I DO.

Having it be mothers day and realizing I haven't posted in a while I decided I would do the long overdue dedication to my MOTHER post. Hopefully I can post a little more regular this summer since I have 12 credits vs. 16.



K- kindly guiding
R- really pretty
I- is wise and happy
S- says funny words like "stoled."
T- tenderly cares for her children
E- eagerly sacrifices for family
N- never lets life get her down

My mom is the little one in the middle. She's always smiling it seems like. People always wonder why I have a smile on my face or am always happy, the truth is its something I've learned from my mom. No matter what happens in life my mom is pro at being happy and finding reasons to be happy. I'm thankful for this.





She knows how to have fun. I always talked about how adventure is close to my middle name. Truth is both my parents seem to have conquered this word. My mom always know how to make things fun.. and she doesn't even try. Mostly because she says things that aren't grammatically correct and she doesn't care.


She's beautiful. She radiates beauty. It's that simple.

GRATITUDE from siblings:
"She constantly amazes me."-Robyn
"She knows how to fix everything."- Colton
"She's a good cook when she cooks" -Annie
"I dunno."- Cody

And yes this may sound like a advertisement for my mom (and maybe it is..)..but really its not. Because then we'd have to show her not so glorious moments as well, but since its mothers day, we'll over-ride those for now.

I'm so thankful for:
1. How she always lets me make my own choices.
2. She kindly listens to my concerns, frustrations, and even calms me down in my tears.
3. The times shes comforted me in illness
4. The support she's given me in each choice I've made
5. The patience she has when I don't make the wisest choicest...normally ending up in my getting hurt.
 like; broken wrist, heart, sprained ankles, black eyes, gross food, etc.
6. The way shes taught me to look at the bigger picture.
7. The way she listens to my dreams, and even helps me realize my potential
8. The many phone calls and emails she sent me when I'm so far away
9. Hearing her comforting voice.
10.  They way she tells me to smile when all I want to do is frown.. which normally involes her poking my side and me trying my hardest to resist a smile.

Since obviously its hard for me to adequately express in words all she means to me here's a poem:

Mom, for all these years
I'm sure you've had
a heart full of hopes and dreams
and special longings of your own.
And you've always listened and shared
my dreams, my wishes, and my heartaches
as if they were the only ones in the world...

That takes a lot of love, Mom
I understand that now
and I hope you realize
how much I thank you...
how much I love you...
and how much I wish you happiness.
- Author Unknown.

I LOVE YOU MOM!!! WE LOVE YOU!!


















Wednesday, March 14

"FOR a little respect. Just a little bit. just a little bit."

So you remember in my last post how I talked about how adventure can be the courage to keep trying even when you can't help but fall, fall, and fall again? Well the past couple days I learned that it may even be more of an adventure to muster up to courage to stop doing something you've become very comfortable with. Like a perpetual habit of biting you nails.*

The past couple days I was reminded of the word RESPECT: kindness. honor. acknowledgement of worth or excellence.

I've always known that people come into our lives for a reason. As I was flying back to good ol' Utah today.** I had the opportunity to sit next to a very inspired man. He asked me the simple question "do you respect yourself?" It took me off guard but really made me reflect if I really did respect myself. The decisions I've been making: like snowboarding all day when I know i don't quite have the strength or just simply being too active for my body which is still healing.

 I'm gonna have more acceptance for what's come into my life and let go of my past perceptions. R E S P E C T. Not only for others but for myself. Because, I know I am important. Just as you are too.

So adventure number 4,000 million hundred in my life: acceptance of change and allowing to be okay with the need to change behavior in order to reflect my worth in who I am.

What's your next adventure?. It may not be as cool as mine!! LIKE........ HOLDING A BABY PANDA..

*Struggle in my life.. don't worry I'm getting over it though.
**Flew from LAX.. from spring break.

Tuesday, February 7

just a little bit of the heart.

Anyone whos grown up with me or now knows me, knows I love avdventure. I love it. I've even posted about it many times. Whether its the desire to climb a super steep mountain so I can get to the top, jump in a freezing cold lake, play games safari in my front yard (one of my favorites when I was little), you name it I like the risk of doing something that will be challenging.

Sometimes though those challenges come with out me volunteerly saying "HEY I wanna do that!!" This is something I'm learning with my current situation. Suprisingly though I'm learning more about adventure then ever before. The courage it takes to try again, even when once again you've fallen.

Something I'm grateful for latley is the simple things like love, expressions of the heart, and nature.

-I'm grateful for my mom. I can't express how much she has been the friend I've needed during these past couple months of uncertainty and confusion. She's helped me understand that I don't always have to explain myself. Not to mention she's always good at helping me remember everything will be okay.. even when all I want to see is the moment of pain and nothing else.

-I'm grateful for the example of my Dad. His example of love and endurance has helped me each day I feel like I'm too weak to do the things I love. He always kept going even when he was too weak to continue forward, even if it was just talking about his dreams and desires.

-The example of friends who are going through even harder times. Like Jayden Moss, and the perspective she has. She truly is a hero of mine, with the goals, dreams and values to reaches towards even when it times it may be hard.

-Dance, guitar, and painting. How grateful I am for moments when I can express myself with out words.. because as you can tell, I'm not the best at it.

-And who doesn't love nature?

Kinda a random post. But just thought I would share a little on my heart today.

Tuesday, January 24

Paradiam

I've learned that the trials and experiences we go through in life give us the oppurtunty to see things with a new perspective; opening our minds to a greater view and allow our hearts to expand a little wider; that is if we let them.

Its interesting I feel each of my classes this semester have touched on this A LOT. My creative arts teacher everyday emphasis's music/ creative arts which allow your mind to be open and your perspective to change. My Human developement class teaches of the human mind/ body and how it grows throughout the years. My teaching class teaches the role of teachers and how the help those around them develope and how we are to be consistantly learning. And I could go on..

Since I've been home for some odd reason I resovled that I want to be a teacher.. which is contradictory to what I ever wanted to end up doing single heartly. I always wanted to be a doctor/ health science major, someone who could help others with their health. Well my mind was opened and quickly changed when I dealt with so many doctors, etc. while I was on my mission and coming home.

So there ya have it... I'm yet another sterotypical utah-girl wanna be teacher. And you think after my class today I would decide otherwise considering what we learned about (the dedication and pay-rate teachers give/recieve).. but it just made me want to do it more!

"To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring." -George Santayana

Change is great people.. it allows us to understand more fully who we are and what we can become. So instead of complaining or freaking out about having to step out of our comfort zones every now and then, embrace change with the oppurtunity to learn even more, (cheesy, right? I'm returning to my "sparkly," cheesy, adventurous self, each new day)! WOOHOO.

Speaking of change.. after 4 years of growing my hair, I finally chopped it off. So in the matter of about 2 weeks I moved to Logan, got 5 new roomates, had to adjust to 5 new classes, new ward: adjust back to the life of a singles ward, new freeezzing cold weather, new friends, and decided to chop my hair off. Its been a great past couple of weeks!

abby and I at the ogden hot springs!