Thursday, December 13

My Christmas Thoughts and a Story of Love

Last March when I was in sunny California, after much playing on the beach, I remember getting a little weak while my friends carried on walking further and further from our spot on the beach. In this moment I laid down on a rock, almost in my own solitude I felt like, feelings of dizziness and fatigue encircled me. Not just tiredness from playing but fatigue of battling my own thoughts and sickness I wasn't quite sure when I would be healed from. In this dark moment I remember praying. It was a simple prayer that went something like this, "Heavenly Father, I need to feel your love right now, if that is possible please help me feel your love."
They even got a picture of it.
 Seconds later after saying that prayer a few of my friends noticed I was ill and started to care for me. My one friend was willing to caring me back the 30 min. walk back to our things, while the other ran for my water bottle, knowing I'm dehydrated, and lastly while the other just walked by allowing me to know she was near and cared. Amongst all this chaos I felt peace, despite my inability to really talk. My friend tired, I'm sure from caring me so far, saw a lifeguard truck by our side and asked if we could get a ride. This led us to there little shack to take care of me, because surely they could tell something was wrong. I don't recall much of what happened, but I remember being surrounded by people: my three friends, life guards, and EMT's. I remember the EMT specialist wanted me so badly to go to the hospital as if I was their own daughter. And my friends speaking for me knowing what I needed: which was rest. Despite the chaos of the situation  I still felt peace.

I ended up being put in the ambulance to make my way to the hospital. My friend, whom I haven't know very long might at add, stayed with me in the ambulance. She stayed with me while we sat in the ER too. All I remember was getting two IV's and people caring for me. The situation by far was not ideal, and my mom, back home in UT, was worried as this had happened just 7 months before when I was in Nashville, TN. Long story short the next morning I was on a flight home back to UT cutting my trip short, and surly disturbing the fun of what my friends and I could have had.

This was just one happening of my journey to better health. It has definitely been a battle and at times dark and uncertain. But I can tell you one thing... never before have I felt so much love from God and His Son Jesus. As you can see from just this one story, the love God has for His children is immeasurable. He loves us so much. After arriving home I remember family members taking care of me, when I returned to school I had wonderful roommates who were my protection to get through the rest of the semester, and so on.

 I've come to learn that our afflictions really can teach us of the love God has. Which really is the greatest gift. God's love is so huge that through His Son we are promised: Peace, Love, Joy, Redemption from sorrow and lose, comfort, forgiveness and so much more.

This Christmas season I'm thankful for my illnesses which have taught me so much of love. In that moment I didn't think God heard my little prayer, but as I look back I see how he answered it before I even prayed and continues to answer it day by day. I'm so thankful for this.

This short Christmas movie reminded me of the love I've felt because of Christ even while going through rough times. In what times can you see God's love for you? I promise if you look close enough you will see his love everywhere.


Wednesday, December 12

Dentist, oh how we LOVE the dentist.

Did I just say we love the dentist? Maybe you do. But, I've always had a love hate relationship with going to the dentist. It's so nice to have clean teeth. I don't mind getting fillings when I have cavties or even how the dentist talks while his hand is in my mouth. That's fine..

Every time I've gone in thus far I always leave knowing I have more cavities.. luckily each time the number decreases.This is lovely. You don't need to tell me its because I probably don't have anymore room to have cavities.. I already realize this. But hey, progress is progress right?

Anyways. About a month ago I was at the dentist and he was filling a few more cavities. This time they gave me laughing gas. I've never experienced this before. Oh boyyyyyy. Let me describe the sensation: everything starting spinning and I had the most curious thoughts. I've been doing yoga about everyday for the past two months and it revealed in my thoughts during this curious time. While I was feeling weird.. I kept thinking just breathe, remember what the yoga instructor says: "breath. If you breath you can get through any pain." Then I laughed in this thought.. "am I really thinking about yoga right now." Finally the dentist said, "how are you feeling?" He must of been able to tell I was out of it deep in yoga thought. After me telling him I was feeling "weeeirrddd.." he took the laughing gas off and preceded with filling my cavities.

Find yourself in a "weird feeling" situation.. remember "breath. if you breath you can get through any pain." haha. It worked for me. :)

Another successful dentist visit.