Thursday, February 28

hey, you there...sure love ya.

"People used to listen to their hearts. Now they just listen to media. Hey, you, yeah-you, grocery shopping with your headphones in. I thought someone should tell you that lonely isn't that cool. And hey, I think you're kinda cute and I probably woulda told you so if you weren't so absorbed in whatever indie {band} you're litening to. And you my eyes are screaming at you, but you're thumbing through instagram, and then facebook and then.. What is it that scares you about giving me your undivided attention? I'm worth it, you know. And so are you. You're just looking at the past, and I'm right here, living and breathing,, right in front of you.. guess it's not enough."
-my very talented writer friend

You might see where this post is going. I've been thinking a lot about social things-specifically social media- latley. Sometimes I feel its so hard to fit in with my peers around me if I don't have my facebook or instagram pulled out while eating dinner together; or even while trying to just have a conversation with them.

I'm thankful for media, don't get me wrong. It's a blessing to stay connected with people I otherwise wouldn't be. Maybe I am just biased because I don't have an I-Phone or smart phone to connect me to these things. And don't worry I spend at least 15 min. on facebook a day. Lastly, yes, you are reading the living evidence of my blog (just another tool to express myself I guess).

What I've been thinking about/trying to say is I would like it if people were more present with what was going on around them. I'm not perfect at this.. believe me.. But being a family studies/human development major in school, I'm really interested in relationships. I love studying people and how they interact with other people.

We are so blessed to have other people in our lives: family, friends, aquaintances, co-workers, passer-bys, etc. I love people. I feel like we can learn so much from the people around us. All it takes is being a little bit more present and interested in what they have to offer: curiosity is how I put it.

I hope I can be better at living in the present moment and allow myself to learn/heal from what the people around me have to offer. Hopefully that I can give them something of worth in return just by being in my presence.

As sweet Mother Teresa put it:
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."

Sunday, February 24

flying: "all it takes is just a little pixie dust.."

... and of course, happy thoughts. That is the age old advice from a young boy named Peter Pan. A boy my mom especially has always loved and wanted to be like.

The other day I found myself quickly caught in a ver vivid flashback. While watching this little boy the T.V. was on the Disney channel. A cartoon about this sad little blue square head came on. He was sad but his friends (orange, red, and yellow square heads) came and sang a happy song, cheering him up.

For some reason this triggered a memory in my mind. I was brought back to when I was around 10 yrs old. I was laying on a bed and my mom had my head in her lap. I was distraught and crying in much pain. When I was around this age I used to get terrible migraine headaches that would inhibit my ability to see/think clearly. While I was in pain my mom would say to me, "Allie, can you think of some happy thoughts? What are your happy thoughts?" I remember trying to muster any happy thought through the pain was a serious challenge.... But somehow I was able to start listing off my "happy thoughts.." All of which I was able to visualize in my head. I remember red balloons, flowers and pretty houses starting to overtake my mind and pain. I would list these off to my mom and she would encourage me to keep going. After many minutes of listing off my happy thoughts I remember feeling tired but free of pain. My mom would let me rest and I woke up happy and able to focus again.

This memory brought so much comfort to me. It reminded me that as children of God we have so much power to overcome pain. He truely wants and desires for our happiness. I'm thankful for the wonderful things He has blessed me with so I can live a happy life. I know at times we can't fully escape the pain we sometimes need to go through, but I know He can ease our pain.

What are your happy thoughts?

Saturday, February 16

Home and Heart.

Home is listening to "Run Round" by The Blues Travelers or "Hand in my Pocket" by Tori Amos.
It's the comfort of the big wasatch mountains on the east side that always make me feel better.
It's running down the hall of the old highschool with my tall friend piggy backing on my back.
It's doing the harlem shake wherever I am because my friends don't mind.
It's wearing big fluffy socks with walmart cordior leggings.
It's the smell of cinnimon, cloves, and big stinky dogs. (great combo I know).
It's the sound of children playing, screaming, laughing, and wanting love.
It's putting my fingers to the guitar and letting them play whatever is sitting on my heart.
It's the voice of those I love.
It's the long windy streets filled with memories of long boarding, biking, scootering, skateboarding, rollerblading, running, and even walking.
It's the colors of green, blue, lavender, hot pink, aqua, yellow, and white.
It's the pain of past hurts.
It's the imperfections like pot holes that mess your car up.
It's the backyard with many years spent in of safari's, books, jumping, tumbling, pondering, tears, and swimming.

Home. It's a good place in my heart.

Sunday, February 10


(said in the Frosty the snowman voice of course).

It's my Dad and Sister's birthday tomorrow. And I thought in their honor I would dedicate a post to them. My sister is so lucky to share this special day with my dad. And vice versa my dad always called my sister his "little present." Okay maybe he didn't.. but she was a gift on his birthday none-the-less.

 Let me start with Annie. She has always been my best friend, trouble maker pal, co-tattle teller mate, protector, go-to for help, let me take all my frustration out on you, etc. you get the message. She is amazing. If you ever need wise, good advice, she has a gift. She knows how to put things in black and white and help you see the best in yourself. She may have a tough exterior but I've never met someone who has the biggest heart. She cares more than anyone I've ever met. And mostly she cares about her family. She cares about things that really matter and she'll fight for them too. I'm so thankful for all the times she stood up for me. I wouldn't be here today without her.. maybe I would but I wouldn't be the same person. Even though I'm the older sister she has always protected my little timid self and has taught me how to stand taller and defend myself in moments of danger. I will never forget the time I went to her at the ripe old age of 7 (she was 5) and told her something that was really uncomfortable to me. She stood up for me and protected me. I will always love her for that. If you don't know her, you're missing out on a good human that's for sure. Love you Annie and HAPPY day of BIRTH!!

Second is my dad. This time of year always gets me thinking about him and all he has taught me. With his birthday and then the anniversary of his death in about a month, I can't help but think of all the memories I have with him.. and moslty all he has taught me.
1. He taught me how to camp, well at least he did the best he could with a little girl who wanted to wear pink all the time. Because of him my appreciation for nature is so deep.  And yes.. that is me in the sweat suit, hand on my hip (forever a sass), and a pink bow in the front.

2. He taught me the importance of love. I've never met someone who loved/loves like my dad did/does. He wasn't ashamed to love with all his heart and express it to those around him.. even if it meant heartache. I'm thankful for that.

So to two people I love so much: Happy Birthday. You've made a difference in my life and I love you for it.