Saturday, February 8

honesty, mistakes, and a good human.

I love this human.

So I have this friends that refers to people as humans. Like for example: "They are a good human. ... I like that human." It rubbed off, to say the least and I like to call people human instead of by there names.

That doesn't really have anything to do with what I wanted to say. I haven't blogged in a while so I'm a little rusty. I guess its been a while because other more important things have got in the way like: a new job, school, and relationships. And then I guess you could say unimportant things have gotten in my way like: instagram, facebook, music and how I can get lost listening to it for hours.. etc. Not that these things are bad but sometimes they distract from other things maybe more important (I've been working on turning my phone off and putting it away at times to help).

But anyways its been a while. And I feel like when I have blogged its been pretty much the same thing: life is hard, I'm trying to live it the best I can, etc. Which is true but I don't want people to think that's all I do is endure life (though sometimes that's what we have to do).. not that I care what people think (jk something else I've been working on).

So recently some cool stuff has happened in my life:
kourt don't hate me.
1. I have a new job. Not only that but I got to work with one of my best friends for two months of training. This is kinda a big deal (not the working with my bff/wifey part) because if any of you know me you know that I've pretty much only nannied my whole life besides the 3 months I "survived" Baskin Robins-good times. So you can only image the types of mistakes I've made or make. Like answering phones for example.. you think I'd be able to handle that I mean I talk to humans* every day. Ya no. I'm pretty sure Kourt rolled her eyes and wanted to shrink in her chair the first couple times I picked up the phone. The best being "Hi this is Colonial.." Ya, I answered the phone with me being my company. It's definelty been a learning process and I feel like I've learned so much just these 3 months I've worked there.

miss painting rocks.

It's way different from watching and playing with kids everyday. I feel like I crawled out of the "mommy/ caretaker cave" and entered real life with people who could possible yell at me not just because I didn't get them some carrots they wanted but because I messed up a really important order. And I don't mean that in any way offensive to stay at home moms because being a mommy/caretaker is reality and an amazing duty. I guess I'm just trying to say its different and I'm learning a lot and I'm actually liking it a lot. Money is super interesting to me and especially how people choose to invest it and how they feel towards it. Soon enough though I'll be in my normal environment with "Aunt Allie's Preschool." Just you wait.

2. I've discovered new parts about me I never thought were there. Like how sometimes I get really angry and I have to figure out how to deal with things I think are unfair (thats how anger triggers anyways, right). So I've been able to start a new combat class (like boxing with out the hitting people part) to help cope with those things that I view are unfair: like someone feeling entitled to me helping them because I'm simply there. Or the fact that I can't eat the things I used to. I never thought I had it in me to be a "fighter." But when I'm in class I turn into this new person and I love being able to imagine all those things I hate and fight them off. **** and side note lets be honest we all knew I had it in me to be mad...-fits of rage has always been an inside joke for my friends towards me... but I guess I liked to believe I handled my anger well by shoving it deep and far away from my acknowledgement.. Little did I know this isn't healthy. I've learned that emotions are real and you just have to figure out how to deal with them in a good way-which can be different for everyone.

3. I'm in my last couple semesters of school.. which means some of my hardest classes yet. Good thing I only have about 9 more credit hours till I graduate! I've taken some really cool classes that have helped me have new perspectives in so many ways. And I love the U.. I really should have just gone there from the get go. But I'm glad for the experiences I've had every where else.

4. I've been able to do way more with my body than I have in these past two years! My energy has been so amazing. I've figured out ways to get through my day with out passing out or just plan getting really sick. I still have tough days but I've really grown so much.

5. My older sister Robyn moved home (not sure if I already mentioned this). This is huge because growing up we hated each other. If you can think of the two most opposite people and imagine them interacting... ya could be interesting. That is me and Robyn. The thing I've learned though is how much we have in common. Like how we are both old time hippies. We both love our organic food,organic shampoo (or just not showering), freedoms, etc. The best part is she's becoming one of my best friends... even though sometimes I wanna punch her. Like the times she came into my room super drunk to capture "angry" pictures of me. Yay. Lets just say those are cherished moments.

Cool stuff, right?

Who knows what else is in store with in this next year, but I believe there are many good things ahead like:

Graduating. Applying to Grad school. Some auditions I'm planning on participating in (more on that later). And just plan figuring out life with a laugh and sometimes a scream.

Life is good people. humans. friends. Whatever you want to be called.

life is good.

Oh also P.s. My two best friends with in the past year have had babies and I like them a lot. :)

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